Does Limerence Ever Go Away?

One of the most common questions people ask when they find themselves in limerence is whether it will ever end. The intensity of longing, the constant preoccupation, and the emotional highs and lows can feel so overwhelming that it seems permanent. While limerence is not necessarily lifelong, it is not the same as a passing crush. It is a clinical state that is acute, disruptive, and enduring, often lasting far beyond what people expect.

For some, limerence may ease after a few months, particularly when there is no contact with the person who has become the focus or when reality forces a shift in perspective. However, for many, limerence persists for years or even decades. The pattern tends to endure when the underlying needs that fuel it are not addressed. If the longing is rooted in unmet attachment needs, unresolved trauma, or a struggle with loneliness, the emotional circuitry that drives limerence remains active. The other person becomes a symbol of what feels missing, and the mind continues to return to them as if they were the solution.

It is possible for limerence to fade naturally over time, just as some clinical conditions can sometimes remit without treatment. Yet this is not the norm. More often, limerence maintains its hold until the deeper dynamics are brought into awareness and worked through. Therapy can play an important role here, offering a space to understand the attachment patterns and emotional vulnerabilities that sustain limerence. Self-reflection, mindfulness, and supportive relationships also help to loosen the intensity and open the way toward healing.

So does limerence go away? The answer is yes, but usually not quickly or easily. For some it may diminish after a season of life, while for others it continues across years. What makes the difference is whether the underlying drivers are addressed. Without that deeper work, limerence can linger. With it, however, it is possible to step out of obsession and into clarity, to move toward relationships that are mutual, reciprocal, and sustaining.

If you find yourself caught in patterns of limerence, know that you are not alone. With the right support, it is possible to move beyond obsession and build healthier relationships. I offer individual and couples therapy online and in Mullumbimby. Book a session here. For a deeper exploration, my book Limerence: The Psychopathology of Loving Too Much will be released on December 23 and may offer guidance on your healing journey.

Individual Therapy Session

50

Book Now