Sometimes we get stuck in our own limited perceptions, spiraling through an endless cycle of negative thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. For example, I might think, "I'll always be alone," which brings a heavy sadness to my heart. In response, I engage in numbing behaviors, like scrolling mindlessly through social media until my eyes hurt. This might trigger another negative thought, such as "I'm not doing life well," and the cycle continues.
In contrast, a positive cycle might look like this: I have a thought like, "My life is so beautiful," which evokes feelings of joy and peace. I then engage in a positive behavior, like connecting with a friend or going for a walk. This leads to another positive thought, such as, "I'm doing really well," creating a reinforcing loop of positivity.
Breaking the Negative Cycle
Sometimes we need or even want to stay in a negative cycle. There is no rule that says we must always be happy or positive. But when we want to feel better, how do we transition from a negative cycle to a positive one?
The good news is that we can enter a positive cycle through any of three doors: thoughts, feelings, or behaviors.
Door 1: Thoughts
Bring conscious awareness to your thinking patterns. Notice the types of thoughts you are having and mindfully choose to replace negative thoughts with positive ones, even if you don’t fully believe them at first. Focusing on gratitude can be a helpful way to shift your mindset. For example, think about one thing you are grateful for today, no matter how small.
Door 2: Feelings
Tune into the sensations in your body. Allow yourself to feel whatever is present, exactly as it is, without judgment. Sit in stillness and observe the feelings, surrendering to them. Over time—whether it takes 10 minutes, 30 minutes, or an hour—these sensations will shift. Emotions are always in flux. With patience, you may find yourself easing into a more spacious and positive state.
Door 3: Behaviors
Even if you don’t feel like it, take action by doing something positive. This could be running a warm bath, going for a walk, meditating, getting dressed, or preparing a nourishing snack. Taking a small positive step can be a powerful way to influence your emotional state.
The Positive Spiral
Once you enter the positive cycle through any of these doors, you are more likely to stay within it. Positive thoughts, feelings, and behaviors reinforce each other, creating a bidirectional loop that can uplift your overall state of being.
Empowering Your Wellbeing
By bringing mindfulness and awareness to these cycles, you empower yourself to make conscious choices about your psychological state. This practice can enhance your overall well-being and help you create a more balanced and intentional life.
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