How Limerence Impacts Daily Functioning

Limerence is not just an internal experience of longing and obsession, it has a way of spilling into daily life in ways that are often disruptive and difficult to manage. What may begin as an intense attraction can grow into a state that dominates attention, mood, and behaviour. The constant preoccupation with another person can make it hard to stay present, focus on work, or maintain balance in everyday routines.

For many, limerence creates a kind of tunnel vision. Thoughts return again and again to the same person, pushing out space for hobbies, friendships, and responsibilities. Work deadlines might be missed, conversations with loved ones half-listened to, and moments of calm replaced by an endless cycle of rumination and checking for signs of reciprocation. Even rest is affected. Sleep can be interrupted by late-night scrolling, replaying memories, or imagining possible interactions.

The emotional volatility of limerence also leaves its mark on daily life. A message or small gesture from the person of focus can create a euphoric high, while perceived indifference can send the nervous system into panic or despair. This instability makes it difficult to plan ahead or to engage fully in relationships that should feel grounding. Partners, friends, and family may notice the absence of presence, the distractedness, and the emotional swings, leaving them feeling distanced or excluded.

Physical wellbeing can also be impacted. Appetite, energy, and sleep often fluctuate with the emotional highs and lows. Exercise or self-care may be neglected, replaced by the compulsion to check, wait, or fantasise. Over time, this neglect can contribute to exhaustion and a sense of being unmoored from one’s own body and needs.

For those caught in limerence, these disruptions can feel confusing. On one hand, the experience seems irresistible, infused with meaning and urgency. On the other, the costs to daily life become harder to ignore. Recognising the pattern is the first step toward change. Naming it as limerence helps to create space between the self and the experience, opening the possibility of regaining agency. Therapy can provide a supportive environment to untangle these dynamics, restore balance, and reconnect with the aspects of life that bring real stability and fulfilment.

If you find yourself caught in patterns of limerence, know that you are not alone. With the right support, it is possible to move beyond obsession and build healthier relationships. I offer individual and couples therapy online and in Mullumbimby. Book a session here. For a deeper exploration, my book Limerence: The Psychopathology of Loving Too Much will be released on December 23 and may offer guidance on your healing journey.

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