Why the New Year Is the Right Time to Let Go of Limerence
- Orly Miller
- 4 hours ago
- 2 min read
The transition into a new year often brings a natural pause. It is a moment when many people reflect on the past and consider how they want to move forward. For those living with limerence, this turning point can feel particularly significant. Limerence thrives on repetition, on cycling through the same thoughts, fantasies, and emotional highs and lows. The arrival of a new year offers a symbolic break in that cycle, an invitation to imagine life beyond the grip of obsessive longing.
Letting go of limerence is not simple, and it does not happen overnight. But the new year provides a framework for setting intentions and choosing a different direction. It can be a chance to step back and ask: what has this dynamic cost me, and what might open up if I released it? These questions are not about shaming yourself but about recognising the weight limerence has carried in your life and imagining the relief of setting it down.
Many people find that limerence narrows their world. Days revolve around a single person, a single hope, a single storyline. With the new year comes the possibility of widening that lens. Instead of rehearsing the same scenarios, you might experiment with practices that bring you into the present, reconnect you with your body, or nurture relationships that are grounded in reciprocity. Even small shifts in daily routines can create cracks in the pattern where light begins to filter through.
There is also something powerful in aligning personal change with collective rhythms. When the world around you marks a new beginning, it can strengthen your resolve to seek one as well. Letting go of limerence does not mean losing your depth of feeling. It means reclaiming it, so that longing is not tied to someone unavailable but directed toward experiences and connections that can truly sustain you.
The new year is not a cure in itself, but it can be a milestone. It can be the moment you remember that you are allowed to choose clarity over confusion, reality over fantasy, and self-respect over emotional dependency. Even if the process takes time, choosing to step into the year with the intention of loosening limerence’s hold is a meaningful act of courage.
If you find yourself caught in patterns of limerence, know that you are not alone. With the right support, it is possible to move beyond obsession and build healthier relationships. I offer individual and couples therapy online and in Mullumbimby. Book a session here. For a deeper exploration, my book Limerence: The Psychopathology of Loving Too Much will be released on December 23 and may offer guidance on your healing journey.