Limerence is often described as an intense emotional obsession with another person. It is not just about attraction or romantic excitement. It is a psychological experience marked by longing, idealisation, and a kind of emotional entrapment that can feel both exhilarating and distressing. Because of its intensity and complexity, limerence is frequently misunderstood. These misconceptions can create further confusion, shame, and isolation for those going through it.

1. One of the most common myths is that limerence is just a crush. In reality, a crush may involve curiosity or excitement, but limerence runs much deeper. It often includes obsessive thinking, emotional dependency, and powerful highs and lows tied to the perceived availability of the other person. Unlike a crush, which usually fades on its own, limerence can persist for months or even years.

   
   

2. Another widespread belief is that limerence is the same as love. While they may feel similar at first, limerence is built on fantasy and often lacks a solid relational foundation. Love is grounded in mutual respect, trust, and shared reality. Limerence may give way to love if both people are available and willing to create something authentic, but more often it exists as a separate experience entirely.

   
   

3. Many assume that limerence only happens in romantic relationships, but that is not always the case. Limerence can develop in friendships, professional relationships, or even with someone barely known. It is not the relationship type that defines it, but the emotional obsession and idealisation.

   
   

4. There is also the assumption that limerence is always one-sided. While this is frequently true, it is possible for both people to experience mutual limerence. In those cases, the emotional intensity may feel heightened by external obstacles like distance or commitments, which keep the relationship unfulfilled and prolong the obsession.

   
   

5. Another painful myth is the idea that experiencing limerence means something is wrong with you. In truth, limerence is a natural response shaped by biology, attachment style, and emotional vulnerability. It does not mean you are broken. It means there is something inside you asking to be seen, understood, and healed.

   
   

6. Some people believe that limerence is always harmful. While it can be distressing and disruptive, it can also be a profound opportunity for self-awareness. The emotional intensity may point to deeper relational patterns or unresolved needs that are ready to be explored.

   
   

7. A common suggestion is that the only way to recover is to cut off contact completely. While distance can be helpful, healing also involves going inward. Therapy, self-reflection, and developing emotional regulation can support recovery, even when the person remains in your life in some form.

   
   

8. It is also a myth that limerence is proof of being in love. Often, it is not love for the real person, but for the imagined version of them. The feelings may be genuine, but they are often directed toward a fantasy that does not reflect who the person truly is.

   
   

9. Another misconception is that limerence will simply go away on its own. While time may dull its intensity, actively engaging with the emotional process is usually more effective. Without awareness and support, the pattern of limerence can resurface in future relationships.

10. Finally, there is the belief that therapy will not help with limerence. In fact, therapy can be one of the most effective supports. It offers a space to understand the roots of the experience, manage intrusive thoughts, and develop healthier relational dynamics. Therapy can also support the repair of existing relationships that have been impacted by emotional fixation.

Understanding these myths helps to remove shame and confusion from the experience of limerence. It allows you to approach yourself with greater compassion and clarity. If you are currently navigating limerence, know that you are not alone. With support, insight, and care, it is possible to move through this experience and emerge with a deeper understanding of yourself and your emotional needs.

My upcoming book explores these themes in greater depth, offering tools and perspectives to support healing. If you are ready to explore the roots of limerence and begin your journey toward emotional freedom, I invite you to stay connected for its release.